Ironic
by holbonesfan
Summary: Multi-Chapter One Shot Songfic... based on the relationship between Booth and Brennan. B/B.Hodgela.Zachison. Review Please! Chapter Seven Uploaded!
1. Chapter 1

**(****A/N:-**** So, a new one for yas. It's like a one-shot-song-fic-but-not, if you catch my drift. Which of course, you probably don't, because that didn't make much sense. What I mean is, it's a multichapter fic of one-shots, and also a song-fic. Each chapter concentrates on a certain line of a favourite song of mine. I think that most of the chapters will be pretty short, so bear with me a while. I have writers block at the moment, and so they say: the best way to get rid of writers block is to keep on writing. So, hopefully, this will have cured me and I can get back to writing stuff that actually makes some sense. Anyway, hope you enjoy!) **

**Disclaimer**: I own zilch. Nothing at all. Nada. Not Bones, and not the song. They belong to other, fortunate people with better things to do than write fanfiction. Like write the show. And Lyrics. Bones belongs to the wonderful Hart Hanson and Kathy Reichs, and the song? Alanis Morissette, lucky thing.

**Spoilers:** Not really, no. :) But the events of 'Pain in the Heart'? Nope, they didn't happen. Because it's before 'The Verdict in the Story' but I'll get it up to date soon enough.

Ironic

_An Old Man, Turned 98, he won the lottery, and died the next day._

"May, I ask, Dr Brennan, not to be disrespectful in any way: why are we looking at the body of a person who obviously died of natural causes? And why are _we _even looking at it? Surely this is Cam's department, not ours." If Zach Addy had never been described as blunt before, he most certainly would be now. But, to be fair to him, he was right. The body – and it was a body, rather than a skeleton – was not something that the anthropologists dealt with everyday – but with Cam away visiting family, it was their job to oversee whatever came in – flesh or no flesh.

"Because, Zach, the man died under 'suspicious circumstances'." His colleague, Dr Temperance Brennan explained. She made finger signs over her shoulders, and her partner, Seeley Booth, looked at her amused. He stifled a laugh, and made a mental note that he had to teach her how to do that properly.

"Meaning?" Booth butted in, just as confused as Zach was. If they knew that the guy hadn't been murdered, then why were they wasting their time examining his body?

"Meaning he won the lottery the day before he died. Meaning that the man's – James Alexanderson's - family were suspicious that he died so soon after winning. It's logical that they assume that their family member died of... unnatural antics."

"But he didn't, obviously." Zach intercepted once again. "It's fairly obvious that the alleged 'victim' died of something other than a stab in the throat, a push down the stairs, or whatever the family are assuming happened to him."

"So if he wasn't murdered, how did he die?"

"myocardial infarction" Temperance explained, raising her eyebrows at his gormless look.

"In English?" Booth enquired, looking amused.

"He had a heart-attack?" Zach supplied.

"Right. A heart-attack." He shrugged, and placed his hands on Temperance's shoulders, pushing her towards the exit. "Come on, Bones. We're due a lunch break. Whatever two thousand year old skeleton you need to examine will have to wait another hour. I'm famished, and I know you are too."

She shrugged, and took off her lab-jacket. She felt his hand ever-present on the small of her back, and felt herself smile. _Some things never change. _She thought about jumping into a long, complicated explanation of what she was actually planning on working on, but decided against it. He was right – she was hungry.

They glanced at the body one last time before pulling the sheet that lay at its feet back over it.

"Goodbye, Mr Millionaire."

_An Old Man, Turned 98, He won the lottery, and died the next day. _

_--_

**(A/N: So, I've started a countdown to Series Four. Airs August 27****th****, if I'm not mistaken so that leaves... 89 days? Wow, not long at all. (sighs dramatically.) Plenty and Plenty of Fanfic writing time. :) **

**So there we have it. Not as good as it was in my head, but it'll do for now. The next chapter should be up soon (I promise!) for those who care. Leave me a message, or put an alert on, or whatever. I really do appreciate it. It makes me smile to know that some people enjoy my writing. When my muse comes back from it's long, apparently-never-ending trip to god-knows-where, I shall post the next chapter of 'Exchange of Services.' I really don't want to mess that one up by writing when I have writers-block. Reviews? Please? Oh come on, what do I have to do? Beg? You want what? Cookies? Hey, I'm a really good cookie-maker. I can make Lemon Meringue pie? Anyone? :) I'll update quicker? Okay, I'm turning to blackmail. Did it work??**

**Holbonesfan (HBF) ) **


	2. Chapter 2

(**A/N:-** Well, I have to say, I'm really enjoying writing these. Only a chapter in, so far, but I'm sure it'll get a lot longer. 10 Chapters Hopefully. Well, that is if you're enjoying it. If not, let me know, and I'll do my best to improve them. If all fails, well the worst that can happen is that this just becomes another of my unfinished fics. And believe me, I have a fair few of them. Most of which were written when I was about eleven, all of which are E.R Fics. Used to be the biggest Luby Shipper imaginable. I'll just leave that to your imagination...

So, Chapter two. Enjoy? Just a quick, fun one to remind you of a certain scene everyone seems to love so much. And maybe a little 'moment', to lead up-to the next couple o' chapters? :) Oh, and a cliffy? Maybe. Just to leave you guessing what happens next.

**Disclaimer:** I wish.

**Spoilers:** Nah, just a random little chappie for you. :) Nothing at all.

**Chapter Two**

_It´s a black fly in your Chardonnay_

"Well, Bones, I'm beat." _To say that I'm tired, _SeeleyBooth thought at he stretched his legs onto the coffee table, _would be an understatement. Beat was a much more suitable term._

"As tired as you may be, that doesn't give you permission to use my coffee table as a footrest," Temperance Brennan mumbled, swatting at his feet. He moved them hastily, flinching at the sharp 'smack' on his toes, before grinning his charm smile.

"Fine. Be like that. If you'd buy a recliner couch, like a normal person, then we'd all be happy, wouldn't we?" He moaned, pout at the ready. He reached for the half empty – or was it half full, he could never be sure – bottle of wine that rested near to where his feet had been. "More wine, Temperance?"

"Please." She handed him his glass, before continuing. "What do you mean, like a normal person? You don't have a recliner couch. Does that make you abnormal?"

"No, that makes me sensible. A recliner couch when you have a six year old running around most weekends really wouldn't be a good idea. It'd be broken within the hour." Booth laughed, emptying the bottle into her glass. He handed it to her wordlessly, shuddered as their fingers touched. _Not the time, Seeley. Now is not the time._

"Well, then. I don't own a recliner couch for sensible reasons too. I mean, if I did, I'd have to put up with you a lot more often, therefore making it an excellent decision on my behalf." She laughed, sipping the wine, and he gasped, placed his glass of wine back on the table, and held his hand up to his heart, in feigned shock.

"I'm hurt, Temperance. Who would've known that you could be so cruel." She laughed, and swatted his hand away from her as he reached over to her.

He smiled, and took her glass from her, silently. Her eyes were full of confusion, and if he wasn't mistaken – was there a glint of hope there? She shuffled closer to him, glancing from his eyes, to his lips, to the table, and back to his eyes again.

No words were spoken as they sat there, for what felt like hours, him twirling her hair between his fingers, face mere inches away from her – her drumming her hand on his thigh. A bang broke the silence.

"Temperance..." Booth muttered, moving his hand away from her hair, and resting it on her cheek. He stroked her cheek, softly, lovingly. She looked downwards, not daring herself to look at him in the eye. He lifted her chin up towards him, and she glanced once again towards the coffee table.

"Seeley..." She began, nervously.

"Temperance?" The stroking had started again, round and round on her face –her cheek, her chin - his other hand twiddling her auburn hair once more. She gulped, and looked him square in the eyes.

"There's a fly in your chardonnay."

_It´s a black fly in your Chardonnay_

_--_

**(A/N:- **Well, there we have it. Another chapter done and dusted. So what didya think? I liked writing this chapter more so than the first. It's a bit more... mushy? Well, I think it captures the tension between Booth and Brennan a little bit more than any of my other fics. Comment if you think otherwise.

So, what do I have to compose this time to get reviews? I've done songs – and plenty of them? I've grovelled, blackmailed... How about a grovelling, blackmailing song? Maybe if I have any spare time, I'll come up with one, just for you guys.

In the meantime, care to review? You know, us students, we get a secret thrill when people like our stuff. Kind of like when we get that A in a Maths exam that we think we've flumped. You know, you try not to be too happy, but it's just impossible, because you are. So, would you so kindly comment – whether you like it or not – and tell me what you think. It'll be lovely to get a nice comment every now and again. :)

Holbonesfan, at your service, and signing off. Ciao.

HBF)


	3. Chapter 3

(A/N:- Another one. Wow, aren't I a good little fanfic-er? Chapter three, and the third line of the song. I bet you can guess where this one's going!

Right, a little Alternate Universe-y, in this chapter, but being fanfic, it's allowed. That's one of the few good things about having no involvement in the writing of our favourite show – we can write whatever we want, when we want, and not get (too many) flames for it. Right, imagine we're in season four right now. And Max has been called back to the courtroom, because of new evidence. Brennan and Booth are in what could be considered a stable relationship, and deal with something terrible together. Not so couple-y, but I'm fairly happy with this chapter. I think it gives out the message that I'm trying to give out – that no matter what happens, Booth will be there for Brennan.

Hope you enjoy this chapter as much as, once again, I enjoyed writing it.

Disclaimer: (glares) Yes? No. Not. Mine. Rub it in my face much?

Spoilers: Nah. Well. No, not really. )

**Chapter Three **

_It's a death row pardon two minutes too late_

"And the jury finds Max Keenan." The judge paused, issuing a glance at the woman seated opposite him, who, by the looks of it, was finding it difficult to hold it all together. "Guilty of first degree murder. He will receive the lethal injection tomorrow, at sundown."

--

She had cried. A lot. And he had been more than willing to be her shoulder to cry on. He told everyone that they were just partners, just best of friends, but he knew – and she knew – that this was a lie. They were a hell of a lot more than that. And this? Well this proved that.

She had never been one to show her emotions to others. He had expected her to keep them all bottled up until she was alone, where she could cry away from the prying eyes of her friends, her brother – her father.

He knew that she didn't want him to see her this weak – mentally, emotionally. Call it what you want, but she felt weak, and that wasn't something she wanted to show the world. He hadn't commented on it, when she threw herself into his arms in that cold, damp courtroom, and burst into tears. He couldn't say he'd been expecting it. If he'd been honest, he would have said it was the thing he was expecting least. He had been expecting her to block him out, to leave the courtroom in a frenzy. He had been expecting her to tell him that she wouldn't be going – wouldn't be going to see her father die, to say her last goodbyes to the man she never really knew. He certainly hadn't been expecting her to ask him to go with her.

"Temperance, of course I'll come..." He rubbed her back, soothingly. She sobbed into his shoulder, her cries echoing around the now empty courtroom. She pulled away from him, and looked up into his brown eyes, her own blue eyes glistening with tears, her face red and puffy.

"Take me home, Seeley..." She cried, as he nodded, and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, leading her out of the courtroom, out of the courts, and to his SUV. He opened the car for her – not receiving his usual lecture on alpha-male tendencies, and helped her with her seatbelt. Not a word was uttered as they drove, silence only broken by the repetitive sniffing from Temperance.

He led her to the front door of her apartment, shaking his head at the doorman, who had opened his mouth, assumingly, to ask if all was well. He unlocked the door with his spare key, lead her, no longer crying, to her bedroom. He turned whilst she changed, although he was sure that she wouldn't have said anything if he hadn't. She climbed into the bed, pulled the covers up to her chin. He moved towards her, kissed her forehead, and headed towards the door.

"I'll be here, at your apartment, tomorrow morning. I'll bring food, and... Well, we'll just see what happens." He turned away, as he heard a heart-wrenching sob. He looked back at her, and she stared at him. It broke his heart to see her this way.

"Seeley..." she moaned, her voice broken and scared.

"Temperance, I'm here, baby. I always will be." He rushed towards her, held her to him. She pulled away from him long enough to say 'Stay with me..." and he nodded, climbing into the bed next to her.

"Always, Tempe. Always and Forever. Whenever you need me, I'll be here." She smiled, slightly, before snuggling into his side, and falling into what he imagined would be a very difficult sleep.

--

Before they knew it, Temperance's alarm had sounded, and they were both awake.

"Sorry..." Temperance muttered, silencing the offending alarm. "I forgot to turn it off..."

He shook his head, not needing an explanation, placed a kiss to her forehead. She sunk back into the pillows, and he nodded, kissing her forehead once more.

"I'm gonna go shower. When I'm finished, I'll go and get something for us to eat." He held his hand up as she opened her mouth to protest. "Please, sweetheart. Don't argue with me, today of all days. I only want what's best for you. And you turning up to see your dad for the last time in this state won't make matters any easier. We're going to have breakfast... and then, we'll just let the day go by without another mention. Okay?" She nodded, realising that no matter what she said, he was going to get his way. He wasn't being pushy – she knew – he just cared about her.

"I'll wake you up when I'm done. Now come on, get some sleep. I know you didn't last night."

--

They had eaten, and then, for the rest of the day, had just lain in bed, in each others arms. Booth glanced at Brennan, and shook her carefully. The time had come to leave.

They dressed in their best clothes silently, and walked out to the car in the same silence. They arrived at the clinic half an hour later, nodded to Russ in the reception area. Russ immediately ushered Booth aside.

"How's she holding up?" He asked, earnestly.

"Not well." Booth sighed. "She's been up most of the night, tossing and turning. I doubt she got any sleep. I made her stay in bed today, so she's had a couple of hours, three, four, tops. I've never seen her like this, Russ. Never."

Russ closed his eyes, breathed in slowly, reproachfully. He opened his eyes, and nodded.

"Thank-You." He shrugged at Booth's confused look. "For being there for her, for being you. You're the only one that she opens up to. Just... thank-you." They nodded at one another, turning back to Temperance. She sat on one of the chairs, eyes glazed and mind elsewhere.

"I love your sister, Russ. Her and Parker are the only things that keep me going everyday. She makes me who I am." He sighed, pointing at the approaching security guard. "Looks like they're ready for us..."

--

Two minutes later, it had happened. He was suffering, slowly but surely. His breathing was shallow, as he glanced warily at the people surrounding him.

"Temperance..." He felt around him, before coming in contact with a pair of hands. "Temperance, my princess. I love you. Don't make the same mistakes that I made. And don't be sad, my princess. Go back to doing what you do best, and make sure you keep hold of Seeley over there. He's the one for you, baby." He breathed deeply, flinching as the drugs left him breathless. He didn't have long left.

"Russ... look after your sister. Do me and your mother proud..."

A loud bang alerted the group of another person's presence. The man was old – not as old as Max, but old in comparison to the other adults in the room.

"They can't prove it was him. The jury have changed their minds – again. Get him out of here, and back to the cells."

"It's... too... late..." Max spluttered, gasping. He grabbed Temperance's hands once more. "Love... You..."

Beep. Beep. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

And Silence.

--

_It's a death row pardon two minutes too late_

(**A/N:-** Not really two minutes, but you know. Wow, longer than I thought it would be. Did I do myself justice? Hope so. I hope I didn't make Temperance over-emotional. I just think that something like this would make her open up to the world. Sometimes when you're expecting something bad to happen, when it does you feel a whole lot worse than if you hadn't known it was going to happen. I think that Brennan would be more pained by something like this happening because of the fact that she didn't get to know her father, and I'm sure she'd regret that if something did happen to him.

Meh, I'm done persuading you that she would cry. Please, write me a quick review! I would love to know how you felt about this. Good, bad or ugly? :) Constructive criticism though, please.

HBF)


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Chapter Four! Wow, I'm committed to this one. Probably because unlike some of the other stuff I've written, I'm actually enjoying doing it, and am fairly happy with the outcome. Thanks to everybody who has reviewed so far. I really, really appreciate it.

Right, we're now onto the chorus. Got there fairly quickly! I don't really like this line, as it isn't really ironic as such. More like unfortunate. However, if it's put into the right situation, then it could be considered ironic. I bet you know which line I'm on about. Well, you should, if you know the song. Hope you like!

Now me, being the Brooth shipper that I am, wanted to use this chapter as an opportunity to get them hitched, but I tried it, and it didn't work, so I'm gonna go for something a little more realistic. As in, a lovely Hodgela wedding. Of course, we have Brooth, and lots of it. In fact, it's mainly Brooth. The Hodgela bit doesn't really show up...

Oh, and anything I get wrong about Washington D.C, for example, the weather, I apologise for in advance. Let's just pretend that it's cold there, and it rains all the time. For all I know, it could. And another thing - Hisolae, as far as I know, is non-existant. Made it all up. Any similarities to real people/places are unintentional?

Oh - They're Camping. Sounds... Fun.

**Disclaimer:** Still not mine. You'd have thought they'd be kind enough to share, wouldn't you...?

**Spoilers**: Nah, not really. Events in 'The Pain in the heart'? Didn't happen. Zach's still here, so nur.

**Chapter Four**

_It's Like Rain on your wedding day_

Angela, being Angela, had to have the best for her wedding. She couldn't get married in cold, rainy Washington D.C, like everyone had expected. Nope, she had to go and get married in the remote island of Hisolae (which no one had ever even heard of).

"Of course you haven't heard of it. It's Jack's island. He bought it a couple of years ago, and never got chance to name it. We decided to call it Hisolae a few weeks ago." Angela explained, when Temperance commented that she'd never even heard the name before. She had shrugged, and rolled her eyes at Booth, who hid his amused laugh behind a very fake-sounding cough.

The island, needless to say, was very beautiful. It was private, out of the view of the public eye. There were no houses there, no hotels, no shops. Nothing at all.

"You know Angela," Booth had said, "You really should get some people living on it, or at least have someone paroling the island all year round." Her frown showed her confusion. "I mean, what if a 

group of people decided to pull a 'Lost' type stunt and start living on there. Eating your fruit, killing your animals..." Never in her life had Angela Montenegro picked up a phone faster.

"A 'Lost' Type Stunt?" Temperance raised her eyebrows as she watched her friend talk urgently into the phone, her voice raising with every passing second.

"It's a T.V Show, Bones." He sighed. "Never mind. Come on, lets get these tents set up..."

"Tent." She shrugged at his puzzled look. "We have to share... Angela forgot one of the tents, so you know... We have to share... you and I..."

"Well, how about I take Cam's tent... and you share with Cam?" He suggested, eyes wide.

Cam appeared out of nowhere, shaking her head.

"Sorry, no can do. I'm sharing with Zach, apparently.." She looked thoughtful for a second. "Actually, that's a good idea... Lets Swap. I'll share with Dr Brennan, and Booth, you can share with..."

"No! I'll share with Bones. It's all good."

He put up the tent in record time, to Brennan's - and Cam's - amusement, before grabbing Temperance's wrist, pulling her into the tent, and zipping it closed behind them.

--

"No. Way." Angela moaned, as she unzipped her tent the next morning. Temperance glanced over at her, her face sporting a similar expression.

"No. Freaking. Way." She cried, covering her face with her hands. "Why, oh Why? Why, God? What did I ever do to make you be so cruel, so evil?!"

"Angela!" Booth's face appeared behind Brennan, his hair sticking up in tufts on his head. "The Lord is not in any way cruel, or evil. It's only rain, it'll pass." A cackle of thunder was heard overhead.

"Maybe Not..."

--

Despite the awful weather, the day was absolutely marvellous. Angela was glowing, Hodgins looked like the cat that got the cream, and even Temperance Brennan - Little Miss Weddings-Are-A-Waste-of-Space Brennan - was enjoying herself.

After Angela had gotten over the fact that it was raining, and no, they couldn't postpone the wedding, she hadn't complained again. She had decided that a little water never killed anyone, and her and Hodgins had had their first dance as husband and wife on the sand - in the pouring down rain.

Brennan sighed as she leant into the man she was dancing with, contently. Maybe weddings weren't such a bad thing, she thought as she moved slowly.

"Seel..." She began, lifting her head up off her partner's shoulder.

"Yes, Temperance." He glanced at her, long enough to notice the uncertainty in her eyes. He opened his mouth to ask if she was okay, when he noticed the one thing that reassured him that she was - the large grin she was sporting.

"Do you think - Do you think that I'll ever get married?" She muttered.

"Temperance, I think that all this wedding talk has got you a little confused... You don't want to get married, remember? You think that it's an..." She cut him off, abruptly.

"That's what I _thought _- But look at Angela. Look how happy she is... Maybe, if I loved my partner enough... Maybe I would marry him."

"Love? You don't believe in love either." He laughed, clearly amused by her sudden change of heart.

"I didn't..." She paused, looking down at her shoes. "Not until I met this one person... He's changed me in so many ways. I just didn't realise it until recently..."

His eyes widened, instantly fearing the worst. _Sully... Why did I ever even think... How could she... When she has him... I was ridiculous even to think that._

"Temperance. If Sully loves you as much as you love him, which I think he does, then you'll have a wonderful relationship when he gets back off his 'trip'." He couldn't look her in the eyes - couldn't bear to see the joy in her eyes at the thought of rekindling a relationship with the man who had the only woman he himself wanted.

"Sully?" She looked genuinely confused. "Who said anything about Sully? I don't, and never have loved Sully. He was just satisfying my biological urges..." She shook her head. "Seeley... Do you think, maybe, you and I... we have something special, right?"

"Special? Understatement of the century, Bones." His face grew serious. "Bones, our relationship is something I have never experienced before. It's more than special. It's more than coffee..."

"Do you think... what we have, and what Angela and Hodgins have... it's the same thing?" She questioned him, and he looked up at her, understanding her implications.

"Temperance. Angela and Hodgins love each other. I don't know what you feel towards me... but I sure as hell love you. I mean, even if you don't feel the same way, I want you to know that I've never loved anyone as much as I love you. Oh God. I've ruined everything haven't I." He frowned. "Why are you smiling? I've destroyed our relationship, Temperance..."

She laughed, flung her arms around his neck, rubbed her nose against his. "Just kiss me, Seeley."

Well, he couldn't let an opportunity like that pass, could he?

--

(A/N: I wanted a lot more Hodgela in here, but hey. I got drowned by the thought of making it all Brooth-y. Meh. I don't really like this chapter, but whatever. It's made me think way too hard, for way too long. Besides, I have some science and English coursework to finish. Me fretting over this chapter isn't going to get that done, is it?

So, Tell us what you thought! You know, the thirty seconds it takes for you to write a review is nothing compared to the joy I feel when I get a review. Even if the review is a negative one, I like to read them, because you know, the best thing to do is to make a mistake and be told about it. It ensures that you don't make the same mistake again. I try to write reviews for every single chapter that I read, but lately I haven't had much chance. I think I have reviewed most of the ones that I've read, but mostly just the ones I have on alert.

School's out in three weeks! Woo! How awesome is that! And I got my science scholarship!! Oh Yes, Life is Good. Counting down the days to Season 4!

HBF!)


	5. Chapter 5

**(A/N:-** So we've had: Natural Death, Fly in the wine, death row pardon, and rain on your wedding day. I bet you can guess what's coming next, eh? Bet you can guess! Of course is; it's the free ride!

I really wanted to update this one last week, but I've been working on another fic, which should be finished just after this one. I'm going to finish and upload this entire fic before I even post the new one. In fact, only two people know about this one. I can trust them to keep it a secret though. :) Quite short, this one. The next one will be longer, hopefully.

So, here we go. Enjoy, and please, review. I haven't had many reviews at all for this fic. I don't know whether that's because my writing sucks, or whether it's just because people don't review. I try to reply to all the reviews I receive - although, I admit that the last lot I didn't. I will this chapter, guys. To answer the question of one of my loyal reviewers, no, there isn't more than one of us. It's just me, I'm afraid. I was thinking of getting one of my friends to write some chapters for me, for some of my older, unfinished stuff, but she's lazy, and won't. She did promise to think up a challenge for me, though.

Anyways. Review, please. :)

**Disclaimer:** None of it's mine. Not the Characters, the Show, or the song. Just the plot.

**Chapter Five**

_It's the free ride, when you've already paid_

She stood there, outside the building, on that wet, gloomy Friday evening. Weekend. Finally.

She had never been one to wish the weekend upon herself, but standing there, she realised she was - slightly relieved, to say the least. Since all the chaos with Zach, and the Gormagon, and Booth's 'death'; well, she hadn't really had chance to have some time to herself, away from her friends. Away from work.

She knew as soon as she stepped out of the doors of the Jeffersonian, after bidding the doorman a good evening, a good weekend, that it was going to rain. It was typical - just typical. The one day that her car goes for a service, and she had to wait outside, that it would rain. And it wasn't just _raining. _It was absolutely pouring it down.

The rain ricocheted off her face. Her hair was stuck to her cheeks, her lips glistening from the downpour. She sighed, as she looked up at the dark clouds, waiting for the cab to arrive. _No chance of this stopping anytime soon, _she thought, staring at the floor absentmindedly.

She glanced up again, what felt like hours later, to see the cab approaching where she was standing. She smiled to herself; thinking about how ridiculous she must look. Clothes plastered to her skin, hair drenched - briefcase no doubt filled to the brim with water. She'd have to rewrite those notes...

She leaned into the front seat, telling the driver where she was heading - pretended that she hadn't seen his amused grin, heard his very fake sounding cough. She paid him, handing him soggy dollar bills, opened the door to the backseat, and threw her briefcase to the opposite side. It was then that she heard the beep.

She turned around, expecting to see an angry driver. What she wasn't expecting to see was a Black SUV, with _him _inside it. And _her. _He was always with _her. _Not that she cared. Who Seeley Booth hung around with outside of work was none of her business. _It isn't just outside of work, though. _She thought angrily. She saw them at work, all cosy cosy. Snuggling into each other, pretending that they had no idea what the other felt. Oblivious to the fact that they loved each other. Yeah, well. She'd noticed it. Angela had noticed it. Hell, even Jack and Zach had noticed it. They were the only ones who appeared to have no idea.

"Need a ride, Camille?" He had stuck his head out of the window, her smiling beside him, almost smugly.

Cam shook her head, water splashing out of her dark hair.

"No thanks, Seeley. I've already paid the driver. I doubt he'll give me my money back. You two got anything planned for this evening?" _She _glanced over at me, smiling slightly.

"Booth and I were going to order some Thai food, go back to mine and have some. It's become a Friday night tradition for us." She looked away, shy. _Why's she acting so modest? She's got what she wants, and she knows it. Jeez. Rub it in a girls face why don't you. _"You're welcome to join us..." Cam shook her head, smiling slightly.

"Thank-you, but no. Go on, don't let me hold you up." She climbed into the back of the cab, held the door open as she muttered a miserable goodbye, thinking about the ten dollars she had already given to the driver.

_Bloody typical. _

_-_

(**A/N:-** Hmmm. That turned out slightly different to how I planned it. I think it's better than I thought it would be. Well, let me know what you thought. Best review gets the next chapter dedicated to them, and also gets to choose who I use as the main character. I think Zach's due a turn now, but if no one suggests it... :)

See that little button down there? Well, it's a direct link to secret videos of season four filming in London, not to mention the ones filmed in America (although I just did...) Click it to watch, and while you're at it - drop me a line in that lovely white box??

HBF)


	6. Chapter 6

(A/N:- Hey Again! So, hope you all enjoyed the last chapter. As promised, this chapter is dedicated to Leah (CSI-4077) for her wonderful review, and for all the other lovely ones she has wrote in the past. She is what I consider a loyal reviewer. :) . The Review really made me smile, so thank-you.

School's finally out for summer! Woo! Now I have seven long weeks of summertime bliss (in other words, boredom; bored already, by the way, less than 2 weeks in...) to look forward to! Means I'll finally update 'Wedding Bells A-Ringing' and 'Party Games! Why Not?' not to mention this one, and Exchange of services (although I did...)

I hope that I'll have them all finished in the next couple of weeks. I'm not really holding my breath about them all being complete, but I want to at least finish this one, and also 'Wedding Bells A-Ringing.' I think there's four more chapters of this one, and one of the latter. Shouldn't take me too long then..

So, review please. I'd really like to get over 100 reviews for the whole story by the time I've finished, but obviously to do that I need your input. So if you enjoyed it, let me know. I'd do the same for you. :)

**Disclaimer:** Not Mine. Blah Blah. :(

**Chapter Six**

_It's the good advice that you just didn't take_

A self-proclaimed wise man once told me that if I really wanted to help someone, then I should mind my own business and let them make their own decisions. He also told me that if I wanted to say something, and it wasn't very nice, I should just think it, and spare myself the embarrassment. Seems like the wise guy actually had his name for a reason, and not just for fancy...

Whenever someone mentions my name, people are known to go, 'oh, I know her. She's the nosy, loud one who works with Temperance Brennan.' I'm known to everyone as 'the one who likes to solve peoples problems;' Sweets says this is because I'm trying to avoid my own. That's a load of bull.

I don't have problems. My life's all happy-go-lucky. I'm engaged to an amazing guy, I have a job that I love, and hey - the pay's more than great. I live in an enormous house, with maids and butlers and waiting ladies, and god-knows-else what. I thought that by giving my opinion to people actually helped them. I'm sad to admit that not for the first time I was far from the truth.

Take Bren for example. I 'help' her all the time, tell her about how oblivious she is to the fact that her partner, Special Agent Seeley Booth is totally in love with her and that she isn't fooling anyone, we all know she has the hots for him too. She swears - swore - she didn't, but hey, look what happened there. Next thing I know, they jumping each other in the cloakroom, and they're being temporarily split up for 'breaching department policies.' It was all Cam's doing, I suppose. She can't bear to see Booth with Brennan - he never did love her, quite clearly. She walked in on them. Well, 

broke the door down on them. Does she not realise that when the door's locked, there's a reason for it being that way? Jesus.

Sure, they could have made what they did a little more private, and waited until after work, but still! Suspending them? Me and Jack have fulfilled 'our biological needs,' as Bren says, many a time before now, and you don't see us getting suspended for it, do you?

So that brings me to my next example. After hearing about the rather unfair suspension of said FBI Agent and forensic anthropologist, I took it upon myself to go and complain to Cam. And when I say complain, I really mean yell large amounts of abuse at her until she breaks down in tears. Believe me people, that hard-faced-miss-cool look she has on constantly? _ So _fake. I tell her how bad at her job she is, and that she deserves to be sacked, and the waterworks turn on. Jack says I was a bit harsh, but I could tell he was just narked that I'd got in and spoke my mind to that bitch of a boss before he had.

So where did all of this chaos leave me? Well, let me tell you. It left me sat in front of the board of directors, and without a job. That's right; you heard me correctly. They fired me. Fan-bloody-tastic.

I guess listening to Jack in the future would be a good idea...

--

(A/N: So I promised Zach, but Angela appeared. Whoops? Nah, my muse didn't want to right about Zach in this chapter. He'll be up soon. Right, I'm skipping a verse the next chapter, because I don't like that one. And It doesn't fit, cause it's a four-liner.

Next Line: No Traffic Jam when you're already late

Lets see if anyone can guess what's gonna happen. :)

You've already done the reading part, so why not stick around for another thirty seconds, and review? You know when you go to a restaurant, and you buy that amazing piece of pie, and you tip? Well, imagine this story is that piece of pie. Sure, it might taste fantastic, but then again, it might not be as delicious as you thought it would be when you bought it, but despite that, you still tip. Imagine that these tips are reviews. Have I persuaded any one that I'm sane yet? Didn't think so...

Please, Review.

Holbonesfan)


	7. Chapter 7

(**A/N**:- Well, aren't I a bad little fan-writer. As explained on the author's note on 'Wedding Bells-A Ringing' I've had a lot of stuff on my mind recently, and writing has been the last thing I wanted to do.

Did I mention that I love you guys like, millions? 'Cause I do. Ahuh, your reviews have kept me sane the last week or so. So thanks for that, and hopefully you'll do the same for this chapter!

**Disclaimer**: Don't own Bones, yadda yadda. :(

**Spoilers**: Well... The Pain in the Heart kind of... didn't happen. That okay with you? I know it's great with me - I wish it hadn't happened. :( Does Zach even know how to drive? Well, he does now...

**Dedication**: To Allison. :) 'Cause She loves Zach.

**Chapter Seven**

_The Traffic Jam when you're already late_

I knew there was a reason I set off at illogical times in the morning.

See, when you're at work early, way before anyone else (well, except Dr Brennan. But that's only expected; she's just as eager as I am, perhaps even more so than I am, to work.) nobody can moan to you, tell you that there's a time your supposed to be in work, and arriving outside of that time is not allowed. Angela does that all the time, despite having both myself and Hodgins wake her up and tell her to get ready.

When I awoke this morning, I knew that I was late. Light was already rushing through my window, and the curtains had been drawn by who I expect was the maid. I glanced at the digital alarm clock flashing on my bed side table, and groaned to myself. 10:03. I wasn't just proportionally late, like Angela was, a mere five minutes here or there. I was just over an hour and a half late. And I still wasn't up.

I dove into the shower, scrubbed at myself furiously and jumped into my work clothes in record time. My car - one which I could barely drive in a straight line - was parked outside my apartment, and I hesitantly grabbed the keys and opened the door, throwing the case folders into the neighbouring seat.

I drove up the road and out of the estate, pulling myself onto the highway. Typical. The only day I'm late in my life, and there was a traffic jam the size of a... well, I don't actually know. It was just very long. I was going to be here all day, I knew that much.

When I arrived at work, an hour (!) later, I rushed in to find the place deserted. I heard my hefty footprints echo as I panted for breath, whilst Dr Brennan looked at me curiously, from her office, where, I'm horrified to repeat, her and Agent Booth had been, as Angela says 'doing the dirty deed'.

"I'm so sorry I'm late, Dr Brennan. My alarm didn't go off for some reason - I'm fairly positive that it was set, because it has woken me up every other day of the week." I frowned at Dr Brennan's puzzled look, and at Agent Booth's murderous glare. "Am I unaware of something, here? Where are Hodgins and Angela? And Cam?"

"Late?" Booth demanded. "You're not late for anything. It's Christmas day, for Pete's sake. Just go home, Zach. Before. I. Kill. You.

I'm a logical person - I realise that Agent Booth's anger was a result of myself interrupting him and Dr Brennan when they were fulfilling their biological needs. What was illogical about the situation was the fact that they were fulfilling their biological urges with each other.

"What are you doing?" I asked, meekly. Maybe that wasn't the best question to ask...

"What are we doing? You mean, what are we not doing, now that little Zach Addy burst in on us?!" Booth yelled, throwing Dr Brennan's shirt at her, whilst pulling on his own.

"I know I'm slightly slow, but I am aware of the fact that you were about to have sex with each other." I shook my head, in confusion. _Did they think I was unaware of the facts of life... I had myself been with a small amount of women. _(A/N:- Sorry Al! (hides) )

"About to! See how you phrased that, Zach. About to!" Booth raised his eyebrows at me, and I took that as a sign to continue.

"Yes. What I meant was, why are you..." I gestured at them, pulling their clothes on, and inspecting their appearances. "You know..." I paused again, shrugging, certain my face had turned the brightest shade of maroon imaginable. "with each other? That just doesn't seem rational to me... you're work partners. Doing... that... with each other; that can't be good for your working relationship, right?"

"You know what Zach," Doctor Brennan supplied, nodding at Agent Booth before walking out of her office. Me and Booth are going to leave now, okay? You're going to forget this ever happened, and come back to work on the 27th like everybody else. Is that okay?" She smiled at me, and I smiled back, an agreement between us. Then he eyes squinted together in confusion. "Late? What do you mean, late?"

"Yes, late. I was supposed to be in work for 8.30, had it not been Christmas Day..." I looked at the watch I had buckled on quickly earlier that morning. "That can't be right... Can it? What time does your watch make it, Dr Brennan. Mine appears to be wrong."

She glanced down at her wrist.

"8.15."

I never did ask them what they were doing in the office at 8.15 on Christmas Day.

--

(A/N:- Anyone ready to murder me? :( I hate this chapter. It's just so... wrong. I tried to make it sound all sophisticated, and logical, like Zach would sound, but guess I failed miserably. Right, it was early in the morning. Let's just pretend Zach isn't as clever early on. Pretend his vocabulary is slightly less extendable. :) See, it's not _so _bad now, eh? :(

Anyways, please review. The next one will be a little more realistic, I promise, and hopefully up quicker than this one was.

HBF)


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